Thoughts and actions are separate things. The difference between HOCD and denial. Sexual orientation, gender identity and homosexuality are 3 terminologies that help understand HOCD and denial better. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. I've been a licensed counselor since 2013, having run my private practice with a steady influx of OCD cases for several years. When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? Sometimes because a woman doesnt seem to turn on by women and men dont seem to turn on by men. Sexuality can be fluid and it exists on continual spectrums. Worrying that you might be sending out . Anna Freud has referred to denial as a defense mechanism involving the refusal to accept reality and thus blocking external events from awareness. Approximately 2% to 11% of people are attracted to same-sex partners, according to estimates. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. I'm glad you clarified the difference between the . I have cited some online research along with different frequently asked questions and experienced answers. Typical exposures for HOCD fears may involve looking at triggering materials, listening to triggering music, and being around triggering people (all without doing compulsions of course!). Its a form of homophobia, but its also a mental illness, and you should never be mean to people who are mentally ill. On the other hand, people who conceal their sexual identities are referred to as closeted or as being in the closet. Is HOCD Just Denial?? In short, no, you are not denying your true sexuality if you have SO-OCD or HOCD. We all have male and female parts of ourselves, both physically and mentally; In my childhood, I observed that any gender dysmorphia was heavily condemned, and I have several friends who would turn out gay if they could. HOCD can be a very debilitating condition, leading to social isolation, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. From your paragraph, I understand that you identify as a female with a desire to have a boyfriend. Lol. - How To Figure Out For Sure | HOCD SERIES #2, 4. Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. I really wanna grow up, have a crush on a guy, marry a guy, and have a boyfriend but Im scared that in the future I wont have these feelings and Ill give up. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. A selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor is the sort of medicine used to treat OCD the most frequently (SSRI). | What am I experiencing? In the case of denial, it can involve not acknowledging reality or denying the consequences of that reality. homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder (HOCD). r/HOCD. 3. Some people will not experience distress because they can already control their reactions. This is just a phase theyre going through.. HOCD is characterized by. Privacy Policy. The conversations are more common to occur in locker rooms. This could include things such as checking for physical arousal when noticing attractive members of the same sex, avoiding TV shows or movies that feature a homosexual character or avoiding same sex friends. The mission of TherapyMantra is to provide inexpensive, accessible, and professional online mental health care to the individuals all around the world. This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also . Required fields are marked *. This all my spike people with HOCD and sound absurd but this is exactly how you beat this. Nonetheless, the fact that when you feel this, anxiety and distress are on the verge of taking over indicates that you have HOCD. Denial can be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times. (nothing against gays I just don't wa. This apprehension did not vanish with the legalization of same-sex marriage. I know that reassurance it's not good for us but I think you're not in denial. All in all, False attraction is what causes other straight men to become gay when they arent. And, no, you are not experiencing an identity crisis. What is the distinction between homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) and denial or being in the closet? Theres a concept known as false attraction. Keep in mind that this feels like youre attracted to him. Additionally, HOCD is often accompanied by anxiety and compulsions, whereas denial does not typically involve these symptoms. Thats just having issues with your orientation. For a quick web story summary, click here. HOCD or Denial?!? These include having a family history of OCD or anxiety, being under a lot of stress, or have experienced trauma or abuse. OCD also known as the doubting disorder can make you question things that you were sure of just 5 minutes ago. You noted that you dont want to be in a same-sex relationship because you are Christian. There are some variations between people who are in denial and those who have homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder. That associated with the fear of being rejected by society, having watched a homosexual individual get bullied or teased or having failed relationships/ bad experiences with people of the opposite sex can act as triggers to the condition. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. Research from linguistic perspective also points out differences in male and female discursive behavior. Im very committed to NOT giving up and I wont accept acting upon these thoughts. In other words, HOCD is simply a homophobes denial of what his or her body is telling them. One day when my thoughts come up, Im able to resist them and they dont affect me. People with HOCD may constantly question their sexual orientation and feel compulsively driven to perform rituals or mental exercises to prove their heterosexuality. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? Hiding and revealing behaviors are psychologically complex. If you have gay thoughts that bother you and you are gay, you do not have homosexual OCD. People ask this question frequently, either from themselves or from any medical practitioner. On the other hand, boys had no feelings for girls and were crazy for other boys until they had that one thought of being gay. Questioning your sexual orientation is incredibly common, and it's a thought anyone can have. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the form of therapy that is most successful for treating HOCD (CBT). I continue to use ERP because nothing is more effective in treating OCD. (Explained), What Is The Difference Between Judo And Wrestling? But when denial starts to interfere with your life and wellbeing, thats when it becomes a problem. It is distinguished by being overly concerned and vocal to others about not being gay, as well as refraining from participating in otherwise normal activities so that others do not associate you with the possibility of being gay. Sufferers may exhibit intrusive images of homosexual behavior that lead to compulsive checking. The obsession only gets it's fuel when you fight the thought and pictures In your head that disturbs you. There are many potential causes of HOCD and Denial. they cant. It often involves intrusive, sexual thoughts around prepubescent children. Sorry for the rant. If you think you might be at risk for HOCD and denial, its important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns. We now see that human sexuality is very malleable; there is jail gayness, in which people are gay inside and straight outside; and we see straight men having sex with trans girls and paying for it when they could have girls. The fact that straights are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and gays are uncomfortable with opposite-sexthoughts should demonstrate that fear exists in all forms. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. ME or OCD - How can I tell the difference? * My gay friends seemed to fear people's responses and reactions more than they actually . Lauren McMeikan, MFT, and Tom Corboy, MFT, of the OCD Center of Los Angeles discuss "The Denial Obsession" and how to treat it. Some people shared their experiences. I've read this & it's a great thing you do to share your story to help others. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. Begin a mindfulness practice. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. This occurs when the OCD sufferer starts to experience less anxiety in response to their unwanted thoughts, and then begins to obsess that they are not anxious enough about these thoughts. Your concerns about being gay may be causing you to focus on gay sex. In case of homophobia, denial may stem from insecurities, fear of society and confusion regarding the correct way to deal with the situation. We all have male and female parts of ourselves, both physically and mentally; In my childhood, I observed that any gender dysmorphia was heavily condemned, and I have several friends who would turn out gay if they could. Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. It could also be a sign of sexual orientation obsession (SO-OCD) or homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder (HOCD). Anna Freud has referred to denial as a defense mechanism involving the refusal to accept reality and thus blocking external events from awareness. Difference between DNA Transcription and DNA replication, self-doubt of an individual regarding their sexual preference and identify, avoiding contact with people that have previously identified themselves as gay/lesbians/bisexual, unwanted sexual thoughts about people of the same sex, excessive fear of being identified as homosexual, Fully aware of the condition but denying about it, Trying to minimise the effects of the situation instead of accepting it, Blaming others/ external elements for the situation, Refusing to talk about your homosexuality, Ignoring the concerns and advice of family and loved ones, When confronted about your orientation, denying outright about lt, Projecting it as a problem and blaming others for it, www.choosingtherapy.com/hocd/#causes-triggers-of-sexual-orientation-ocd, www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html, www.apcbham.org/2019/10/01/denial-why-it-happens-and-how-to-overcome-it/, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/internalized-homophobia. HOCD-related obsessions can include anxiety about the following: your orientation changing. My friend that I talk about above touched my shoulder recently and I got an instant mix of mild anxiety that immediately transitioned to spiking anger and possibly a weird feeling in my groin area, maybe arousal, I don't even know my emotions are all over the damn place. Introduction: My name is Nathanael Baumbach, I am a fantastic, nice, victorious, brave, healthy, cute, glorious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you. Unlessyourebisexual,youwontfeel any sexualorromanticattractiontotheoppositesexifyouretrulyhomosexual. HOCD Test - Do You Have HOCD? Log In Sign Up. Sounds dumb but. (Video) Am I gay or in denial? Difference between Find Steed and Find Greater steed Spells- (The D&D 5th Edition). Accept that sexuality is natural and that gay feelings are normal and not a bad thing. And, whatever the answer is, you can find happiness in that way. You might tell yourself things like, Its not true. Both manifestations are subtypes of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a common anxiety disorder characterized by recurring, unwanted obsessions including thoughts and ideas, and compulsions such as repetitive behaviors or mental acts. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? I really see the difference here, you have never FEARED the attraction, you loved the attraction, despite not being able to admit it to others. Only ten minutes after I had started reading the most recent posts, however, I realized that something was wrong: The folks with gay fears were clearly not gay. However, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted their sexuality. But even if you do have feelings for other guys, its not a total disaster. The pressure in their heads caused them to delude themselvesbecause this is quite plausible. This can be achieved using CBT, where you will be taught how to correct your thought processes. So its important to know the difference between HOCD and denial. Ive been practicing as a licensed therapist since 2016. HOCD is a form of OCD. And M.Ed.? Many straight men are afraid of being gay. The more you agree with them the more you kill the obsessive part of it. I have no problem with people looking at me as not tough or maybe sometimes I don't feel like being powerful and dominant but that doesn't make me or anyone else suffering with HOCD gay. * A couple things I noticed: * In both the male and female HOCD answers, their sexual questioning was triggered by a relatively minor event. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. The best way is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes. "Well, duh!". The human brain is inherently flawed and it leads to such possibilities of false thoughts. Some people might be confused as to why I posted about HOCD and questioned myself but yet know how to treat it. HOCD or any other mental health issue cannot be cured entirely, in other words you cant get rid of HOCD permanently. Cookie Notice Am I refusing to face the facts? Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. I don't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling of being attracted to them. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). It's an anxiety disorder with an intolerance to uncertainty. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. This is called the state of denial or being in the closet. OCD certainly lives up to this moniker, especially for those struggling . Your concerns about being gay may be causing you to focus on gay sex. For example, if someone has been interested in partners of the same sex and they obsess about whether or not theyre actually attracted to the opposite sex, it could be SO-OCD or HOCD. Coins 0 coins Premium Powerups Talk Explore. Gaming. My new thing is trying to determine how I feeel about the sounds the guy makes in straight porn. The conversations are more common to occur in locker rooms. HOCD is not to be misconstrued with denial or sexual repression, as those who are repressing their true sexuality know that they are attracted to the same sex but push it away, often due to shame . Mindfulness practices can be used to tolerate distress. Great post man. Example: an EX Marine and Black Belt married with wife and kids. Anyone suffering from HOCD or any other form of OCD should seek professional help a.s.a.p. Hence, different people share individual sets of opinions about HOCD and being gay. Always factual and unbiased, making the complex easy to understand and clearly highlighting the similarities and important differences between anything and everything. You might feel that you know your sexual orientation, and then suddenly you start thinking about the opposite orientation thinking about it so much that you become obsessed. Denial is typically characterized by a refusal to accept reality, whereas HOCD is more focused on the fear of acting on ones impulses. Sometimes because a woman doesnt seem to turn on by women and men dont seem to turn on by men. Anxiety is what drives HOCD, whereas denial is what drives it. This can be an effective treatment for patients who can identify their negative thoughts and work to change them. But the difference between you and me is that you would be selectively attended to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. Unwanted thoughts also occur in this state. HOCD can feel very real if you let the obsession take over. Obsessive thoughts about being gay are one example of this process. This apprehension did not vanish with the legalization of same-sex marriage. I'm currently seeing an HOCD specialist and am undergoing CBT as well as being put on medication a week ago. Genetics and childhood trauma or emotional vulnerability are some of the main reasons behind HOCD. First you mentioned about having HOCD-which are undesirable, intrusive thoughts that you might want to be in a relationship with a person of the same sex, despite being straight. We are ready to support you both in person and online! Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. is a common obsession in OCD, especially "Pure O". by helpisneeded Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:15 pm, by ocdcrazy823 Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:02 pm, Return to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum, Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 50 guests. 6. Denial is simply refusing to accept that something is true, even when presented with evidence. However, there are some key differences between the two conditions. As mentioned, thoughts and actions are separate things. There is also some evidence that suggests HOCD or denial may be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. By self-assessment and monitoring, you can easily identify whether it is OCD or false thoughts are triggered by HOCD. It's like oh look a guy is he attracted am I attracted to him. (Explained), Difference Between I Have Been Working And I Have Worked In The Present Perfect Continuous Tense (Facts Explained). and for some, this fear can become compulsive. Symptoms manifest differently for each sufferer. So, in the context of HOCD, someone in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that they could be gay. -- Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:18 am --. Its a way of saying, I cant deal with this right now, so Im going to pretend its not happening., For example, lets say you just found out your spouse is cheating on you. , is it possible I'm just experiencing OCD about this? Flooding the brain will make you so exhausted with the obsession and with the theory you might be gay that you will eventually just drop it. !HOCD - MAGICAL THINKING and THOUGHT-ACTION FUSION https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PC86VDvH9gPRIVATE SUPPORT GROUP https://www.. What do you know about the people who suffered HOCD? Take intrusive thoughts less personally, and let go of your emotional reaction to them. It becomes heterosexual OCD as well. Am I avoiding the issue? I eventually got over it, but Im still not gay and despise homosexual sex. Constantly reassuring yourself that you are straight. And compared to you I never felt that way about boys when I was younger. Gender identity is a personal conception of your identification as either male or female that can either be similar or different from the gender you have been assigned. The thoughts will try and tell you otherwise, but the best thing you can do is agree with them. Its a form of homophobia, but its also a mental illness, and you should never be mean to people who are mentally ill. On the other hand, people who conceal their sexual identities are referred to as closeted or as being in the closet. User account menu. It is different nowadays. This in due course of time can proceed into lead to problems in social and personal life. Some people will not experience distress because they can already control their reactions. According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. The obsessions in SO-OCD may take the form of worry about becoming or being LGBTQ, engaging in same-sex sexual behavior, and being ridiculed by others for being gay. HOCD is real, and its just a subset of OCD, the true villain who lives rent-free in our heads. Men who have . That thought haunts them every day and is always with them. The pain and betrayal you feel are overwhelming. It sounds like being Christian is important to you. That thought haunts them every day and is always with them. . Being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another. Obsessions are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges and doubts, while compulsions are repetitive physical or mental actions performed in an attempt to relieve distress and anxiety. It knows it bothers you and wants you to obsess about it. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. So, screw you all who think HOCD is not real and is denial! According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. But even with proof ya still have it. Medication. Many gay men struggle with this as well, for a variety of reasons. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. You needa learn your stuff brah. There is still a strong belief in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and deviant. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. But somewhere it is believed too. How do you tolerate distress/anxiety? They manipulate the medical community into making this diagnosis solely to justify their self-hatred. Without advertising income, we can't keep making this site awesome for you. (HOCD, Homosexual OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD). Which is vice versa of how an HOCD sufferer feels. Simple denial If, on the other hand, only females physically turn you on, you are straight. Any answer isn't good enough. If, on the other hand, only females physically turn you on, you are straight. In both cases, the individual is likely to avoid anything that might trigger their thoughts or feelings related to the obsession. The symptoms of HOCD may also be managed with the aid of medications. I treated people using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and saw people get better day in and day out. If you think you may have HOCD or denial, it is important to remember that you are not alone. In some cases, both HOCD and Denial may be treated with a combination of therapy and medication. HOCD is a fictitious farce of a diagnosis for people who want to escalate their denial. It becomes heterosexual OCD as well. Just stay connected till the end. Morons, . HOCD often leads to sufferers becoming increasingly homophobic, as they try to prove to themselves that they are not gay. Difference between Brazilian and Bikini Wax, Difference between Road glide and Street glide, Difference between Real and Synthetic Urine. To be clear, the therapists mentioned on this page are not necessarily an LGBTQIA+ individual themselves. I went to a therapist once, didn't help. Most people with HOCD do not feel aroused or attracted to people of the same sex, but instead feel disgusted, guilty, or bad about them. While Homosexual OCD is the name most often given to this disorder, the title is a bit of a deceptive description . Just because you may have certain thoughts, that does not necessarily mean that you would act out those thoughts. Learn how to work with your thoughts and images. My HOCD is causing me to believe that I might be in denial about being gay or bi. Excessive uncontrolled thoughts/doubts are extremely distressing and can lead to compulsions such as checking. Thanks for sharing your questions and concerns. This could involve starting with the exposure of identifying same-sex indivduals who are attractive or watching movies featuring a LGBTQ storyline (if you typically like opposite-sex individuals). What are some self-soothing activities you engage in? People who have experienced HOCD, truly believe it. Many dudes experience it. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. For this reason, many people misunderstand it to be "repressed" homosexuality. It's estimated that 10% of people with OCD have this specific subset. 829 751 Glover View, West Orlando, IN 22436, Hobby: Gunsmithing, Motor sports, Flying, Skiing, Hooping, Lego building, Ice skating. (3) possible short-term relief due to the compulsions, but it doesn't last and over time gets worse. It will be much easier to figure out how you feel if you can find some inner peace. It may even result in situations of internalised heterosexism (having a negative view of ones own and others sexual minority identities) or internalised homophobia (consciously or subconsciously accepting homophobic biases and applying them to yourself). Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. Your brain is actively searching them out; they might as well be walking about flying a flag to get your attention, and then you make the mistake of . By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. HOCD and Denial are terminologies related to these. Privacy Policy. This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. Parker: Their Differences. By self-assessment and monitoring, you can easily identify whether it is OCD or false thoughts are triggered by HOCD. However, there are some key differences between the two conditions. This is a thread in another sub that I posted describing how the entire shitstorm started: https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. They may also try to compulsively engage in activities that counter the obsessions, such as straight men who overcompensate by watching hetero porn or avoiding all contact with members of the same sex.
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